𝕆ℙ𝔼ℕ & 𝕆𝕍𝔼ℝ𝔽𝕃𝕆𝕎;

[roseapothecary]

𝔻𝔸𝕍𝕀𝔻 ℝ𝕆𝕊𝔼

Comments

??

[roseapothecary]

Um, I'm not writing my own bad resume for you.

Clearly I'm doing well enough without spelling it out.

i just wanna knooow

[cleanmouth]

Oh we're well past resumes. If anything it'd be more like a performance review.

If you say so, David. I'm not going to push, but I've gotta say it doesn't sit well with me that my fiancé thinks that about himself.

look i play david, the nosy character trait is a crossover o k

[roseapothecary]

Ok then, so
If it was a performance review?

What would my grade be, boss?

:'|

[cleanmouth]

Well uh. We're looking at a few benchmarks here.

Following the dress code.
Collaboration and teamwork.
Effective communication.
Attention to detail.
Finishing your work on time.

Considering your past performances in these areas, I'd say you're well overdue for a promotion.

a m i m i s s i n g S o M e T h I n G ?

[roseapothecary]

So you're saying I get A's?

Wait
Considering my past performances??

no no just ignore me IT'S ALL GOOD

[cleanmouth]

No, there's no letter grades.

Well I can't review future performances.
...If there are any.

👀

[roseapothecary]

And what is that supposed to mean?

My promotion means you're stuck with me. So.

all good in the hood~ or creek as it were

[cleanmouth]

Are we not using performances as an innuendo for sex?

The way I see it, you add too much value to the business to let you go, but don't tell my boss that or we won't be able to afford you.

🥰🌹

[roseapothecary]

Are we??
I most certainly was not.

Anyway, my question stands!
Are you going to be withholding for some reason?

<3

[cleanmouth]

I mean I wasn't at first, but then... It kind of seemed like... Okay so this is embarrassing but do you remember having to explain to me what kinks are?

I'm not so sure it'll stay standing after this.

[roseapothecary]

Um, of course I do?
It was only my favorite conversation ever.
When we discovered all the shades of pink you can turn.

Oh, please. We know that all you need to do is wear a t-shirt around me and I'm good to go.

sorry i had accidentally hit enter before i was done augh

[cleanmouth]

Well I'm glad it was enlightening for the both of us.

As long as the sleeves are the appropriate length, right?

internet shame

[roseapothecary]

You still haven't given me the complete list, by the way.

You know I only tease when I can't stop looking.

for the rest of my days

[cleanmouth]

That's because it's a work in progress. And that's where I was going with this: I think I discovered another one.

Okay that is not the only time you tease and you know it.

I really thought you didn't like that shirt. Did you actually like it?

[roseapothecary]

Um..? Tell me immediately.

Or, no wait. Show me?

I can like and hate something at the same time.
Did I hate the shirt? Yes.
Did I love that you chose to wear it? Also yes, don't ask me to explain it.

[cleanmouth]

Right now?

Oh you hated it, wow, alright. Noted.
So you're just going to leave me hesitant to try wearing anything I haven't already worn before with no explanation?

[roseapothecary]

Yes.

Sleeves are supposed to be sleeves, not attempts.
Absolutely not, I just explained why I end up loving everything you wear.

[cleanmouth]

Give me a minute.

Maybe I'm a trendsetter.
That's not the same thing as loving why I chose to wear something you hated.

[roseapothecary]

Same.
Looking for a door that locks.

Oh, PLEASE.
That's not the same as... what??

[cleanmouth]

Where are you?

Maybe you just don't get it.
That's what you said! I want to hear the explanation.

[roseapothecary]

Not at your place, that's for sure.

Oh I get it! I'm not saying you don't look good, babe.
In fact, I'm saying the opposite and you better know that.

[cleanmouth]

Will you be at my place tonight?
Trying to decide how much to show you now versus later. In person.

Oh we're doing babe now?
That I know, although it's always nice to hear again, but it still seemed like you were trying to say something else...?

[roseapothecary]

I will be at your place before we are finished with this conversation.
So show me. As much as you legally can.

No, we're not. I regretted it instantly. Even in text form, it's incorrect.
Just like your assumptions.

[cleanmouth]

I thought you were finding a door with a lock?
Not that I'm complaining.
Why do you think I would show you something illegal? What do you think this kink is?

[And that's not just a semi-rhetorical question. Based off of pictures alone it's going to require some guesswork: in the first, Patrick's seated at his tiny home office, the end of a ballpoint pen tapped to his lips which are swollen red as if he's been biting them. The second picture is of the bottom half of the desk and the floor, which at first glance maybe seems like a mistake, but upon closer inspection it's obvious that Patrick's legs are suggestively splayed underneath the desk.]

Okay, baby.
Just checking.

[roseapothecary]

I'm just saying, don't get naked in public because we don't have bail money to waste.

[ And then, after a pause: ]

Oh, my god.
Are you really playing kink PICTIONARY with me right now??