roseapothecary | 𝔸𝔻 𝔸𝕊𝕋ℝ𝔸 ✰ 𝕀ℕ𝔹𝕆𝕏;

[ That specific phrasing shakes David the rest of the way awake like nothing else but the smell of a full breakfast could. Instantly he feels like he's back in New York, waking up after a crash to hear the very first refrains of You're Being Dumped being played in Asshole Minor.

But that can't be the case here, David reminds himself firmly, so he winds his fingers into Patrick's t-shirt idly (definitely not to hold him in place against his will) and squeezes him a little more tightly in return with the arm draped over his middle. All very casual. ]

You... what?

[ That's right, keep the tone neutral even if the pauses that give him away can't be helped. ]

[ Okay, that's...not great. He feels a sudden spike of anxiety through the bond, but David's careful not to let it show in his voice, and Patrick doesn't want to push. He shoots him a quizzical look, but just draws him a little closer, settling back into the pillow again. ]

Yeah. His name's Nicky?

[ He pauses, waiting for some sign of recognition, just in case. It's not like it had been a large party. Or like it's a large ship, for that matter. It's not out of the question that David's already met Nicky, or Joe. Or both of them. ]

Have you met him?

Nope, um. Nope.

[ Being held feels good so David doesn't prickle too much, and even though he isn't the best with names (he's much better with faces, at least, he's not completely dismissive) he's sure he hasn't come across a man that goes by 'Nicky'. He knows he'd have remembered that. ]

What's, uh... Special? About him?

[ He has to ask because Patrick clearly wants to tell him, though he can't think why it's coming up out of the blue. ]

Special?

[ Well. He guesses. Otherwise he wouldn't have bothered telling David about him, right? It's still kind of a weird word choice, though. ]

He just -

[ He hesitates. It's kind of hard to explain, is the thing. Because so much of what they'd talked about had been David. David, and the bond, and the struggles of navigating everything life had thrown at them lately, so early in their marriage. He doesn't want David to think Patrick had been complaining about him. Or that he's unhappy. It's just...hard, sometimes, everything that they've had to deal with, and it had been nice to talk about it with a third party who got it. ]

We just really hit it off, you know?

[ And that had been nice, too. Making friends, or at least a potential friend. He still doesn't have too many of these here. And he's so pleased about that, still, that he pushes right on without really picking up on whatever emotional reaction David might have had to that inadvertently vague, potentially misleading statement. ]

Anyway. He's - he's here with his husband. We were thinking it might be nice if all of us had dinner sometime.

If - if you want to, I mean. There's no pressure.

[ It's a good thing that David is actually good at staying quiet and listening when he's overwhelmed because Patrick's long moment of hesitance and then his unfortunate choice of phrasing immediately after continues the pileup of those old anxieties like dominos. His face is slightly turned away from Patrick so his growing grimace isn't as obvious, but their connection probably feels like the empathetic equivalent of an angry bee hive. ]

U-uh huh?

[ His mind has gone right to the stumbling dance they'd done around Jake and even before that, the bad communication they'd had around Ken and David's misguided urge to try and keep Patrick by self-sabotaging their unspoken monogamy, but thankfully none of those thoughts have settled properly before Patrick finally gets to his point. ]

Oh. Oh! [ David can suddenly feel his face again and it's very, very hot. ] His husband.

[ David's assumptions have just been flipped like a pancake, but it's unclear how the information is reworking itself in his head. What the hell is going on here, exactly? ]

Pressure? [ Why would he feel pressure about anything concerning free food? Unless... ] Oh, um. Just to be clear? Is this... is this 'dinner' anything like the old 'whiskey' metaphor? Or...?

[ But Patrick's gone quiet, because now that he's said what he needed to say, the mess of emotions he's feeling through the bond has become impossible to ignore. He's just still not sure quite what the problem is, at least until David asks about whiskey and the memory of that quickly-abandoned evening with Jake comes flooding back. ]

What? No!

[ How the hell had he gotten that? Patrick stares at him, or at least at the top of his head, utterly bewildered. ]

It's - it's dinner. Just dinner.

Did you - did you think - [ Wait. No. Is that even the right question? ] Did you - do you want it to be - whiskey?

[ Not that it's going to be. It's not going to be. It's just dinner. ]

No!! I haven't even met them!

[ And yet it's times like these that David is glad for their new empathy bond because he can instantly tell that Patrick isn't just putting him off the scent or trying to deny anything. Quickly, David squirms up so he can look at Patrick but he can't wipe away his own wide-eyed, slightly defensive expression. ]

You were the one making it sound so weird and serious! [ His head bobbles a little with the following because he's too warmly bundled up in their blanket to use air quotes properly: ] You just 'met someone' and 'really hit it off'?

[ And now that he's saying his collected evidence out loud, it really does sound a little hysterical and flimsy. Maybe. He presses his lips together and his cheeks puff out for a second before he goes on. ]

Why else would I turn down dinner? Um, have we met?

[ All Patrick can do is stare, slackjawed. Okay, yes, he can see how his words could have been misinterpreted differently. In a different context. In a different world, where he was single and looking and not married to the person he'd been telling the story to.

It's a while before he can even speak, mouth working silently as David gets out what he wants to say. When he does answer, his voice is low and intense. ]

I didn't go to that party to pick up guys. I wouldn't - I'm not going to - you're my husband.

[ This is going great. He pauses, long enough to close his eyes and take a breath. ]

I met a person. At a party. Because that's what you do at parties. And we were talking, and he brought up his husband, and I thought - I thought it might be nice to have - for us to have some friends here, David. Another couple. Like us.

[ The longer Patrick's mouth works silently like that, the more David's confused grimace starts to turn into a smile that's self-consciously turned down at the edges. He can't help it that every expression Patrick pulls is cute, one way or the other, but it's hard to hide how funny he finds it when Patrick gets flustered.

Funny and adorable. And stressful. ]

I didn't say you did! We also never said-- at least, not explicitly, that... that wasn't on the table?

[ But he says it with more than a bit of a wince because that's not at all what he wants to talk about right now. That possibility had never felt like something that needed clear articulation and it also isn't something David is after or trying to spark a conversation about. It had just been a weird opener to wake up to. ]

Also... like 'us'? [ He can't help wincing slightly again, although he tries to hide the tick because he can tell (and feel, thanks empathy bond) how much the idea means to Patrick. ] You mean you found another couple that can't share clothes?

[ Oh...oh. That sounds like yet another important conversation they need to have, one they definitely can't afford to get derailed by right at this moment. Patrick's eyebrows flicker up marginally, but he lets it pass for now.

But he goes quiet and serious at David's teasing question, dropping his gaze and looking at his lap as he answers. ]

I mean another gay couple.

[ Which...was obvious, right? That that's what he meant? And he knows David isn't gay, precisely, but that's not the point. Or maybe it is, that he's still not sure what the right terminology is, how to describe what they have. What they are. ]

I just.

I know it doesn't matter, and love is love. All that. But.

[ God, it's hard to even know what he's trying to say. Patrick scrubs at his face with one hand, thinking. ]

I barely...knew anyone who wasn't straight before you, David. There was the token gay guy at my high school. The lesbian couple down the street. But.

[ It's probably a big part of why it had taken so long for Patrick to figure things out for himself. Gay meant the flamboyant guy from drama club, meant the couple four doors down who gave out full-size candy bars on Halloween but didn't go to their church and didn't have kids and seemed to live a life entirely divorced from anything he'd ever known or imagined for himself. It meant Elton John and Ellen DeGeneres. It didn't mean Patrick Brewer, little league MVP turned business major.

He sighs, finally turning to meet David's eyes again. ]

I just thought it'd be nice, you know? To get to know someone else who understands. [ He pauses, the corner of his lips twitching upwards in a hopeful ghost of a smile, trying to bleed off the tension a little before he completely freaks David out. ] Someone other than Jake.

[ The way David's eyes flicker for a second behind his lids in a narrowly averted eyeroll proves that yes, the fact that Patrick had meant another gay couple was obvious, but it's the phrase 'love is love' that actually gets a full face twitch from David and reveals what he thinks of that slogan.

Yet the way Patrick scrubs at his own face makes David hold in the many possible comments that bubble up in him on instinct. It's clear this is something that Patrick needs to say and David doesn't want to step on things any harder than he already has.

And he's glad he lets him because moments later, David feels like he's been unexpectedly grabbed by the heart. ]

So, um. One day I want to hear more about your token gay guy? But...

[ It's just one of the many ways that David has overlooked the gaps in their experiences once again. When Patrick finally finds David's eyes, he meets a much softer expression there. ]

If you want to... spend time with new friends? Who are like you? I think that's... great.

[ The adoring smile that follows the adjective he settles on hopefully takes any sting of possible sarcasm out of the long pauses. David just wasn't sure which words he was reaching for that wouldn't sound hokey. Because Patrick's sweet little moment of bravery didn't deserve a hokey response. ]

Also, Jake might 'understand'? [ Though that allowance is accompanied by a look of extreme doubt. ] But that doesn't mean we're ever going to understand Jake.

[ Luckily, he doesn't see David's aborted eyeroll, or the look on his face at love is love. This is difficult enough as it is.

But David listens patiently, as he always seems to when it's important, even when whatever's Patrick's trying to explain is outside of his own experience. Patrick shoots him a look, half grateful, half still uncertain. It's still hard putting himself out there like this, even just with David. ]

I'm not sure I want to understand Jake.

[ He suspects he'll be happier, actually, if he never does. Instead he rolls closer, tugging David down gently just so he can cuddle up against him, resting his head on his chest. It's the opposite of how they usually end up - David's normally the one clinging to Patrick, nuzzling up against him - but it feels right, right now. ]

I do want to, I think.

And I barely knew the gay guy. Don't get excited.

We'd have to ask Stevie anyway, and I do not want to hear any of those accompanying stories.

[ But it's always easy to convince David to stay in bed and cuddle, so when Patrick maneuvers him so he can settle against him, David is happy to tuck his nose against Patrick's hair and wrap his arm properly around him. ]

Mmm. Disappointing.

[ Meaning it's disappointing that he won't be getting any adorable stories about closeted high school Patrick this morning. But after David has been idly stroking Patrick's warm, broad back for a while in the silence, he carefully tries to repair the mood he wrecked. ]

So what are they making? For dinner, I mean? Convince me.

[ Even though he's already convinced, and for once it has nothing to do with the promise of food. ]

Agreed.

[ And really, that's enough discussion of Jake, Patrick thinks. He closes his eyes, humming in contentment when David wraps an arm around him and starts stroking his back, but of course the quiet doesn't last for long. ]

I didn't ask.

[ He keeps his eyes shut, smiling against David's chest. ]

But it's homemade. And there'll be a lot of it.

You didn't?

[ The expression of disappointed disgust that David pulls is nearly a full-body physical reaction. He can't think of a single question he'd be more likely to ask a host inviting him to dinner and that suddenly obvious divide between him and Patrick is shocking. Shocking!

But then... Patrick is just going because of the company. David isn't really on that page yet. ]

Okay, well... As long as it's nothing I'm going to be filling napkins with. And there's dessert.

[ As if there's any food that falls into the 'unacceptable' category for David, and he can feel Patrick just smiling against him and settling more comfortably into bed so David lets out an overdramatic sigh in defeat. ]

You know if you go back to sleep we'll never get up?

I didn't want to be rude.

[ Remember, David? That thing that most people try not to be? ]

I'm sure there'll be dessert, though.

[ He smiles wider at David's loud sigh, one he feels as much as hears, and opens one eye to squint at him. ]

And that's a problem for you?

[ David's mouth twists at that unsubtle chastisement and his narrowed eyes slide over in Patrick's direction, but for once he says nothing in defense of himself. He just sulks a bit. ]

Well. Whatever it is, I hope it's covered in chocolate.

[ But he doesn't notice Patrick sneak a glance at him because he's already closing his own eyes and settling back deeper into the blanket. ]

You're kidding. Like there's anything we need to get up and do here.

If it isn't, I'll find you chocolate when we get home.

[ Okay?? He just really wants this to work out. David's comment produces a new spike of concern - as nice as it's been to have so much time with David, no work or bills or anything to worry about, he's not sure the prolonged idleness is good for either of them.

But that's a problem for tomorrow. For the moment, he just snuggles in a little closer, with a contented sigh. ]

Thank you, David.

[ For humoring him. ]

𝔸𝔻 𝔸𝕊𝕋ℝ𝔸 ✰ 𝕀ℕ𝔹𝕆𝕏;

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